It's About Time

The time has come for me to be here now.  In more ways than one, "It's about time!"


I've missed this place that I created.  I made this place as a safe haven for my thoughts and feelings, but as quickly as I created it, I stopped coming here.

In some ways it was about time.  It was about me spending time in the present and not letting my exit from Mormonism be the in forefront of my mind.  I wanted to sleep (because I had a toddler, who is now a preschooler!), hang out with my husband, or play with my kids.  And when free time is hard to come by, you only do those things that you want more than anything else.  So I did that: I spent my time with my little family and at yoga class, and climbing, and watching lots of fascinating television programs and films.

Not spending time here on my blog was perhaps doing more harm than good though.  Without writing I wasn't able to process and get past the thoughts and feelings I've had in my recovery time (I feel that's the appropriate title for this period of my life after Mormonism). So, in August 2014 I finally found a great psychologist and had a few months of therapy.  It was such an important thing I did for myself.  I did some private writing in my journal during that time, and it felt so good to have an outlet for all those thoughts and feelings.

Now it's September 2015 and my kids are in elementary and preschool, and I find that I have a few hours a week to myself.  Here I am, hoping that this is just what I need to spend some of my "me" time doing.  I still have times when I feel blue, or I feel anxious, and there are still a lot of thoughts that have gone unsaid.  I'm back here to make more progress on my recovery, and continue on this journey to finding who I am now.

The picture above is a photo my dear friend Mette took.  She calls this piece, "Balancing Life."  I'm honored she asked me to model for it, and so happy I was able to be part of a piece that symbolizes much for me personally.